Alison Fragale’s Likeable Badass doesn’t just make the case for the challenges women face in their careers, nor does it just offer a roadmap to being respected and admired—it challenges us to think about the often-hidden dynamics of power, confidence, and influence that play out in our everyday interactions. I've already been recommending this book to women in my life, and I want to share it with you, too. Here are a few of my thoughts to get you started while you wait for your copy to be delivered.
Speaking faster is tied to perceptions of competence. We assume that quick, smooth talkers exude confidence and know what they’re doing. But where does this leave people with speech challenges, learning differences, or anyone who naturally takes more time to process? It’s a reminder to those of us in leadership roles: Are we really listening, or are we just rewarding speed? It’s easy to get swept up in those fast-talking cues, but we need to be intentional about making space for different voices and recognizing strengths that aren’t always so readily visible.
Some people have to work so much harder to shift their reputations. In the book, Fragale points out that if you start from a high-status position, society practically hands you a Likeable Badass badge and asks you to keep it clean—confirmation bias does the rest. But for those who start with a low status, it’s a different story. It’s strategic, it’s work, and it’s a climb that others rarely see and can easily dismiss. This is the kind of nuance we often ignore. It makes me think about how we can create spaces that allow people to establish their reputations in a way that's authentic for them, even if it doesn't align with what society has historically rewarded.
Imposter syndrome, I know thee well. And what does Fragale say? Imposter syndrome doesn’t stem from what we’ve done; it’s born from the gap between where we are and where we want to be. I LOVE THIS! It’s such a simple but profound way to look at it. If I’m being honest, I’ve always felt that people who don’t experience imposter syndrome may lack a certain level of self-awareness, like they’re blissfully confident in a way that borders on blindness. I've certainly experienced imposter syndrome, have you? It always creeps up when I'm doing something big, something impactful. Fragale’s words remind me that maybe this inner imposter, this quiet doubt, is actually a sign I'm pushing my limits. As she says, “I love my inner imposter—as long as she’s with me, I know I’m reaching for the stars.” It’s a powerful reminder that doubt isn’t a weakness; it’s proof we’re growing. And, another opinion of mine, anyone who thinks they know it all or has nothing left to learn are the people to get the hell away from as fast as possible.
It's deeper than just “how to be liked and respected”—it’s about how we see ourselves and the assumptions we carry into our interactions with others. Fragale talks about how people naturally want to say yes when the conditions are right. And that warmth isn’t something women lack but are penalized for not displaying. It’s this blend of strategy and self-acceptance, a call to see connection in the things we have in common, even when differences are more visible at first glance.
Read Likeable Badass with a pen and notebook next to you. This book is filled with action steps and tips that you're not going to want to forget. I created a table and kept track of the tips as I read, organizing them so I know which to work on and which to maintain. Now, my list is more detailed than the one shared below, but you get the idea.
If any of this reasonated with you, then you know what you need to do next - pick up a copy of Alison Fragale’s Likeable Badass and let me know what you think!
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